Many people walk around as a half a stone, looking for a spouse to be the other half. This is a poor way to go about life, you need to become a whole stone all on your own before you look for a significant other. Then you must look for a mate who is also a complete stone all on their own.
At the onset of this thought process, I had a wonderful girlfriend; however, I realized that I was only a partial stone and that she too is a partial stone. In addition I realized that I had been very greedy in our relationship. She had committed all of herself, her love, and to much energy to her own detriment. I had not, in fact after a lot of reflection, I realized that I was no longer in love with her. I was very comfortable with the status quo, and not ready for further commitment. I loved having a girlfriend, the comfort of coming home to someone who loved me, regular sex and physical contact, someone to look after and who looked after me. I loved having my best friend always around, curling up on the couch for a movie, someone to be completely comfortable and un-self-conscience around.
It turned out that I did not really care about the little details in her life. What was happening in school or at work that she would want to tell me about, she didn't bother, she knew I didn't care. It wasn't that I don't care about her, I really do, I found that I just didn't pay attention to what made a difference to her on a daily basis.
When I really realized what an impact I was having on her, I decided that I could no longer do that to her, and I made the call that we should part ways as friends. That was hard, I was so tempted to let everything keep going. We could work it our right? Well, that still doesn't make it “right”.
Now I feel a lot of new feelings. I am grateful for a magnificent 2 years. I am struck with some great memories, there were so many “firsts” for me with her. I am lonely, in an intimate way we shared our lives day in a day out. I am excited, for new prospects both for myself and for her. I am relieved, to not be an anchor for her anymore. I am thankful, that we could remain friends - I was truly worried that might not be possible.
To my "still" friend,
Thank you!
You are still my best friend Kyle :) Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou are only just beginning your journey, get everything you can out of everywhere you go. The experiences you are having and are going to gain traveling will be some of the most valuable moments of your life. Just be sure to share your insights with the rest of us.