March 11, 2011

Got to get my "stone" together

Many people walk around as a half a stone, looking for a spouse to be the other half.  This is a poor way to go about life, you need to become a whole stone all on your own before you look for a significant other.  Then you must look for a mate who is also a  complete stone all on their own.  
At the onset of this thought process, I had a wonderful girlfriend; however, I realized that  I was only a partial stone and that she too is a partial stone.  In addition I realized that I had been very greedy in our relationship.  She had committed all of herself, her love, and to much energy to her own detriment.  I had not, in fact after a lot of reflection, I realized that I was no longer in love with her.  I was very comfortable with the status quo, and not ready for further commitment.  I loved having a girlfriend, the comfort of coming home to someone who loved me, regular sex and physical contact, someone to look after and who looked after me.  I loved having my best friend always around, curling up on the couch for a movie, someone to be completely comfortable and un-self-conscience around.
It turned out that I did not really care about the little details in her life.  What was happening in school or at work that she would want to tell me about, she didn't bother, she knew I didn't care.  It wasn't that I don't care about her, I really do, I found that I just didn't pay attention to what made a difference to her on a daily basis.  
When I really realized what an impact I was having on her, I decided that I could no longer do that to her, and I made the call that we should part ways as friends.  That was hard, I was so tempted to let everything keep going.  We could work it our right?  Well, that still doesn't make it “right”. 
Now I feel a lot of new feelings.  I am grateful for a magnificent 2 years.  I am struck with some great memories, there were so many “firsts” for me with her.  I am lonely, in an intimate way we shared our lives day in a day out.  I am excited, for new prospects both for myself and for her.  I am relieved, to not be an anchor for her anymore. I am thankful, that we could remain friends - I was truly worried that might not be possible. 
To my "still" friend,
          
                Thank you!

March 8, 2011

New Friends in New Orleans


I enjoyed one of my all time favorite meals yesterday.  It was wonderful.  The Praline Connection at 542 Frenchmen Street was where we stopped for lunch.  This being the first “real” Louisiana food that we would try, a decision off of an extensive menu was difficult.
There were six of us, what should we get?  The fried chicken was recommended by a local, the shrimp Po boy was showcased on Anthony Bourdain’s TV show as amazing.  We cant go to the bayou and not try the Crawfish, there is Gumbo, Jambalaya and Etouffee.  
Myself and one of my companions,  being a little outgoing and nosey, we asked neighboring diners at their table what they were having.  They had just received the Fried Oyster and Shrimp Po boys.  They looked amazing, my choice wavered about 10 times and I settled on the Shrimp Po boy.  Pat on the platter with everything, he also ordered the Crawfish Etouffee.
Around the table everyone was deciding on different dishes.  Behind me, the neighboring diner, then asked if I would like to try the Oyster Po boy.  I of course declined as nicely as I could; however, he persisted and said that he was through and would not eat any more himself.  How could I refuse, I thanked him profusely as he passed over half, yes half of his meal.  I cut off a small portion then passed it around our table, and we were able to sample that dish.
To further astonish me, this same man asked if we would like to try his wife’s Shrimp Po boy.  She too was finished, and offered the remaining half to us.  This we were able to pass around for everyone to sample.  Now having tried two of the six different versions of this sandwich, I chose a third variant, the Soft-shelled Crab at the enthusiastic recommendation of our generous fellow diners.
The only thing we could offer back to our benefactors was a shot of bourbon that was acquired in Kentucky earlier that week.  They had a round, and “thank yous” were exchanged.  What a great start - we were yet to order but had already tried 2 of the dishes we were thinking about.  
The waitress labored to bring us a train of food, our table swelled as a thanksgiving banquet does.  We “tucked in”.  There was so much food, all of it different and all of it delicious.  Each of us would take a bite and realize how good it tasted, we could not help ourselves but to offer it to everyone else.  Family style would best describe the atmosphere at our table.  Literally I passed food from my plate to everyone else’s, split ribs and passed them along, hand to hand.  Share and share alike with everyone at the table.  There was an easy, laid back, abundance attitude at the table.  With the gusto in which that meal was had, you would think that we must have been close friends of years or family.
Let me tell you a little about the folks that Pat and I dined with and shared the entire day.  We met them that same morning on a shuttle to the French Quarter.  We were camped at the same KOA only a few sites apart and yet we would never have met them had we not gotten up for the 9 am shuttle.  They were 2 couples, here from from London, England on holiday.  One couple had actually moved to Ohio recently, but their accents and mannerisms still said English.  These people are real, genuine, lovely people, the lot of them.  
This so far was the best day in New Orleans.  Once on the shuttle we chatted about Cafe du Monde and it’s authenticity as a New Orleans activity, so we went.  We set two small circular tables together in order for the six of us to sit together. We had a short, curt, fairly rude waitress, who confused us.  We ordered as a group, she brought out the order and set it down on the closest table.  We started to dole out the proper requests down the line to the second table.  After we were all sorted out, the waitress moved to the farther table and rearranged the coffees sitting in front of their respective recipients.  Pat and I had ordered small coffees, and the rest of our party had all ordered larges.  The waitress could not understand and switched our small coffees with the ladies.  A very confusing look descended on all of us and we quickly switched back.   All the while the waitress telling us we were wrong.  She kind of drifted off and we were not sorry so see her leave.
We then enjoyed a wonderful breakfast and quickly made friends with our companions.  At the end of the meal the waitress started to demand her table back and brought out one check.  We asked for it to be split, instead of returning with separate checks, she split the bill in her head with strange disproportionate amounts.  This very much confused all of us enough to cause some concern about how to work everything out fairly.  Having this be such a mess Pat took the check and paid it all.  End of story, no more problem.
This simple act quite readily endeared our new friends and a very easy going attitude fell over us.  We all knew that everything would work itself out, and we would continue to have a nice day.  We ended up shareing pitchers of beer, passed around a pipe, and took dozens of pictures.  We visited a cemetery, a voodoo museum, and most of the french quarter during the day.  We witnessed sword swallowing, magic acts, musicians, and performers.  We liked a gay bar on Royal street, several of the guys got hit on.  And we had an epic lunch.  It was a wonderful day, everyone was at ease, and we got to know each other. 
The evening came to a close early, we left the quarter around 9 pm and we were all completely satisfied with the day.  A few comments were made about turning in too early but not being able to help it.  For me it was a full day and the hour we ended didn’t matter.  We didn’t need to chase a good time, it had taken place all day.
This day is what this trip is about for me.  Meeting wonderful new people in amazing new places, gaining new perspective.